tifaching

It’s the job.  You know that and you know how it’s likely to end.  Doesn’t mean you can’t empathize with Kit.  With Cole.  Hell, you’ve been where they are.  Something transforms you, invades you, makes you thirst.  Only difference between you and them is that you didn’t have becoming a monster shoved down your throat.  You took it on by choice.

It seemed like the right thing at the time- made perfect sense, until everything went into free fall and you plummeted right along with it.  Sam came through for you then.  Tied you down and locked you up and brought you back, not letting up even through the screams when the blood burned like brimstone in your veins.  You did the same for him once and you know exactly how it feels to hear your brother in agony.

Cole’s not your brother and he’s not your buddy.  He hurt Sam and though you didn’t care at the time, the dagger that slices through your gut when you think about what could have happened ensures you’ll never forget.  If he calls you Dean-o one more time you might just cap him right now.  But the Mark’s quiet and Cole’s got a family and he fucked up while trying to do the right thing.  If anyone can relate to that it’s you. 

So you heat things up and you dry things out.  The plan will work or it won’t, but you’re not going to quit and you’re not going to let Cole quit either.  The gun’s always ready, always an option, but your ass has been pulled out of the fire enough that you can pay it forward by holding off as long as possible.  Do the job.  Kill things and save people.  Cole’s still a person.  He hasn’t crossed the line yet, isn’t a monster.  He can still be saved.  He can still be saved.